He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
