i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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