"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
