he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
