the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
