she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
