she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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