At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
