Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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