So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
