your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
