how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
