remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
