Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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