We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize