It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
