Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
