it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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