I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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