I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
