If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
