Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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