does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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