hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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