Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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