At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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