Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Jerry, you need to find god
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
