it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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