Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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