Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
