If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
