Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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