Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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