I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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