Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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