Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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