At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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