I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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