Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So vagazzling was a success
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
