and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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