Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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