is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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