I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
