Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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