Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
