Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
