Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am naked and annoyed.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
