sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My first STD was from a foam party
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
