im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
