And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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