Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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