He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
