I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
This baby is an asshole
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
