I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
