I understand Curling. That high.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we're making bets on your personal life
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
