Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize