They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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