think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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