so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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