Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
