Porn is love you can see.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
