I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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