You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
