i just google imaged poop.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I had to cum in my sink.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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